A Little Learning
by ekhidne
Summary: A little learning is a dangerous thing. Harry Dresden stumbles on hyperactive junior occult dabbler Merton Dingle while doing an investigation. Based on an event in BWOC that always just bugged me. Edit: 3/2014: Now with plot!
1. Chapter 1

"Wait, so you're just going to kill me?" The kid squeaked and nearly tripped over his own chair in his hurry to back away.

I'd just told him it was a bad idea to invite strangers over his threshold and I'd explained the White Council's position on black magic which is basically 'one strike and you have no head.' Somehow the kid got the idea I was going to kill him.

I shook my head. "No, no, this is just a warning. Anyway you don't have that much talent and I'm pretty sure you haven't gone over to the dark side yet. Despite the decor." I gestured at the room which was resembled a horror movie set. Plastic skulls, gargoyles and candelabras; the goth was strong with this one.

Ahh, the life of Harry Dresden: Lecturer of teenagers and White Council stooge. I'd recently been sent from Chicago to a little town called Pleasantville to investigate werewolf sightings and a bunch of weirdness. _Pleasantville_. Try and tell me that's not suspicious and creepy. At least nothing had tried to rip my face off yet, but it was probably only a matter of time.

The only lead I'd found so far was Merton Dingle. Merton stumbled across me as I was performing a location spell in front of his house. I was trying to be subtle about it, but apparently I really suck at 'subtle.' After the initial 'hey, weirdo, get away from my house!' He criticized my circle-drawing technique and accepted that I was really a wizard. He'd invited me into his room to talk, which gave me some idea of his level of knowledge. It's never a good idea to invite anything magical over your threshold. Nevertheless I accepted since standing outside his door I had the strong feeling that I was being watched. Well, that and his sister was glaring at us. If she had psychokinesis, we both would have caught fire.

"Hey! What do you mean I don't have talent?" Merton was stung. "Okay, I admit I don't do a lot of magic, mostly because I'm not a fan of things eating my face off. (That can happen, right?) But I do one mean banishing spell and-

I held up my hand. "Whoa! I didn't say you couldn't do magic, I just said you didn't have much natural talent and where the White Council is concerned that's a good thing. Trust me. I just have to warn you that there are laws. Any magic that violates another's free will is punishable by death. If you hurt anyone with magic, I'd hate to have to bring you in before the Council. They're a bit stuck in medieval times."

The kid didn't look happy, but he nodded.

"Actually, I didn't come to lecture you so much as talk to you about the rash of werewolf sightings here."

"Pssh! Werewolf!? That's a myth. Someone's been watching a little too much of An American Werewolf in London. Or maybe An American Werewolf in Paris. Or come to think of that Teen Wolf, except Michael J. Fox played a pretty good guy in the movie so I don't think it would-"

I had to stop him again. "Look, it's been traced to this area. Your house in fact. Are you sure there's something you aren't telling me?"

"Uh..."

I reached under his desk and picked up a few stray hairs. "You won't mind me taking these to the lab then."

He held up his hands "Okay, you got me. I was the Pleasantville werewolf! But I'm cured! Really! You can test that right?" He grabbed the amulet around his neck. "See, I'm holding silver now. I just stuffed down some wolfsbane and bang! cured."

I felt the beginnings of a headache. "You ate wolfsbane?"

"Well yeah, because the werewolf me was totally evil and cheesy. It worked too! No more lupine transformations, no more stealing chickens, no more Pleasantville werewolf! I'm cured. So you can let me go now, yeah?"

I shook my head. "If you'd taken wolfsbane it would have cured you of a lot more than that. Breathing, for a start."

The kid turned pale. Well, paler. "They never said that" he muttered. "It just said that wolfsbane was a cure for lycanthropy."

"Yeah, it is. And so is a silver bullet to the head. That doesn't mean you want to take it. Wolfsbane is so poisonous that an arrowhead dipped in the juice could kill a full grown wolf. So either you're incredibly, amazingly lucky or you're holding out on me."

"Just lucky? Heh. Okay, I'm not lying! It must not have been real wolfsbane. I thought there was something suspicious about a site that sold both protein shakes and magical herbs. But I'm not a werewolf anymore."

"Really? The werewolf trail to your house is recent as this week. Maybe you should wait a while before you say you're cured."

He tilted his head to one side. "Yeah... hey, is there such a thing as Werewolves Anonymous?"

I smiled "Ever heard of something called the Paranet?"


	2. Chapter 2: There, Wolf

_Some time after The Girl Who Spied Wolf before The Manchurian Werewolf, spoilers for BWOC._

* * *

Pleasantville seemed like a completely innocent and prosperous town. The research I'd done suggested the missing persons and unsolved murder rate was little higher than normal. Otherwise nothing stood out, except maybe some weird isolated incidents that had started showing up in the papers about a year ago. Vandalism, unexplained scorch marks, break ins at the local fried chicken restaurant, rumors of a werewolf. All pretty minor. Maybe this was the Merlin's idea of a joke; take me away from where I was needed and put me in the middle of Maybury for a werewolf hunt. Or maybe it was something darker. I tapped the steering wheel in frustration. I'd been cruising the neighborhood for some time following my hair compass and listening to the soothing rhythm of the 'fasten seatbelt' alarm. Man, I already felt sorry for the rental car people.

The tracking spell I'd done in front of Merton's house had let me pick up residual magical energy from the werewolf, but I'd decided to try the hairs I'd found in his room since he'd told me he didn't have a cat or a dog. Either the werewolf wasn't Merton or there was more than one wolf out there. It was beginning to get dark and the hairs were stubbornly pointing towards the park. Was that a suspicious blur? I squinted, then parked my car and got out for a little walk under the streetlights with my blasting rod for company. The compass led me around a screen of bushes and there it was, the Pleasantville werewolf.

"Seriously?" There are many kinds of werewolves, from shape-changers, to skinwalkers, to guys wearing magical wolf-skin belts. This one had to be the silliest I'd ever seen. Take the Wolf-Man from those late night monster movies and imagine something less imposing. Yep. That's it. Not scary at all unless you had a life long fear of sideburns. At first I wasn't sure if it was real or a makeup job although I don't think they make contacts that actually glow with yellow light. He was wearing a letterman's jacket, of all things.

"Hey you." His words were garbled through his fangs. "Move! Get away, now!" He looked ready to flee or attack for a second and then he ripped a bar off the wrought iron fence and growled, coming straight for me. If the blur was any indication he was way faster than I was. So I moved in first, punching him in the solar plexus with my force rings, unleashing enough kinetic energy to knock him onto his back and then some. I turned only to run directly into a second wolf-man who'd been standing right behind me, apparently. It was like hitting a wall, but then I'm not exactly a lightweight. I bowled him over and got a face full of claws. Blood stung my eyes and I lashed out blindly.

"_For_-" Then the world exploded and the back of my eyelids showed fireworks displays before I fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Well, how are we today?" A fussy, far too chipper male voice spoke up. I tried to open my blood-crusted eyes and managed to pry them apart. They stung, and the light coming through them sent an icepick to my brain but at least I knew I still had eyes. I was lying on a hard floor and somebody nearby was moaning. Never a good way to wake up.

"You'll be happy to know I collected your stuff and put it all in a little box for you." I pushed myself up just a little. There were light and dark patches around me, mostly dark, but my brain couldn't find any meaning in them.

"Feeling better? You've been asleep quite a long time."

My eyes could just barely make out the speaker, but he seemed to be a disembodied head giving off rays of light. I blinked and finally my brain figured out he was just a guy holding a candle. He was tall, with hair oiled and perfectly parted down the middle. He was wearing a cheerful smile. And a cloak. He was standing behind some bars, which probably meant I was in prison.

"Why does it always have to be cloaks?" I groaned. "At least tell me where I am."

"Pardon? You're in the dungeon of the Evil Werewolf Syndicate."

I had been trying to push myself up to sitting position, but I stopped for a moment. "Tell me you're kidding. Evil Werewolf..."

Cloak guy shrugged. "I wanted to call it the League of Lycanthropes. Alliteration, you know. Or the Lycan League."

"Lori...? Merton...that you?" Someone was moaning behind me. I turned to see the werewolf from last night still in his letterman's jacket and jeans only now he looked like a human teenager.

"Why'd you hit me?" He grumbled.

"You went after me." "Look, I told you to move...guy."

"It's Harry."

"Tommy."

"Oh we're getting to know each other. I'm Gil!"

Tommy rolled his eyes "I already know you, Gil."

"Gil" I said, very cautiously, finally rising to my feet. "Do you think I could get an aspirin?" Hey, it was worth a shot.

"Weeell..." he frowned.

I groaned. "My head is really hurting me here, I'm not going to lie. I think I'm going to have a nasty goose egg."

Gil pulled out a set of keys, fidgeted with them and dropped them back into his pocket with a shake of his head. That made me raise an eyebrow. Someone hadn't been reading the Evil Overlord's list. "After what happened last time I've been specifically instructed not to go into the cages, even if you get sick." Gil sounded sheepish. "I probably shouldn't be even talking to you, let alone doing guard duty by myself, but Ralph was sick, so..."

"Aw man," Tommy said. "And I could really use a drink of water too."

I sat back down and began sweeping the floor with my hand, collecting all the loose grit I could into a pile in my right palm. I breathed in and out slowly, gradually collecting energy and drawing it into the pile. After a long time, I nudged Tommy and whispered "_I have an idea. Get to your feet and act really, really surprised_."

"What is that!?" I yelled, elbowing Tommy. "Nothing has that many legs!"

"Roach?" Gil asked cheerfully.

"It's eating the stone!" That seemed to get his attention.

"Where?"

"Back in that corner!" I pointed with a shaking finger.

"Yeah..." Tommy said hesitantly. "That thing's creepy."

"I don't see anything." Gil peered closer into the dim cell.

That was my cue. "_Dorme_." I threw my handful of sand into his eyes and he sank to the floor in a dreamless sleep.

"What'd you-" Tommy gaped.

"Never mind! Help me get the keys!" I grabbed my stuff and followed Tommy up the stairs. At the top there was a number keypad on the wall. I was going to zap it, but Tommy beat me to it, punching it into the wall. 'Evil Werewolves' might use interior decorators from the dark ages, but they understood modern alarm systems all too well. Immediately there was a loud clanging that made my head almost split in two with pain. The door opened and a bald man wearing a cloak appeared at the top of the stairs. He snarled. With incredible presence of mind, I threw up on his shoes.


	3. Chapter 3: There, Castle

Getting his shoes vomited on was probably a new experience for bald guy. Good thing for me, he just stood there a moment, looking at his shoes, then looking at me, disgusted. That gave Tommy time to push me out of the way and tackle him. I lurched to my feet, feeling adrenalin and nausea and a new horrible taste in my mouth.

I'd mentally snarked at the wolf guys for looking like something out of a late night horror movie, but in action these guys were impressive; silent swift blurs who could drop from a staircase like ninjas. In the space of a heartbeat about six appeared from nowhere and they all were prepared to spring on me. Not counting bald guy who had a grip on Tommy and was in the process of drop-kicking him. They didn't do too well against a wall of force though. Neither did the opposite wall.

In the chaos, I could see Tommy escape Baldy and take off in a blur of speed. Groggy werewolves in the room began staggering to their feet, covered in plaster dust. Even the ones who'd ended up under sections of wall and book case. Totally unfair.

Unfortunately it seemed that werewolves were fond of romantic lighting. There had been lit candles everywhere, so little fires were springing up everywhere which made the wolf guys scramble for the door attacking each other in their hurry. I ran for the door myself, ducking and weaving, only to be run down in the front hall. One of the guys who apparently still had more presence of mind than the others grabbed me by the collar. I hit him, expending the last bit of kinetic energy in my ring. But before I could take off running, something grabbed my arm. Something with claws.

"Hey, this way!" Tommy pulled me towards the door, claws digging into my arm. I didn't need the encouragement. I gave the wolves in my way a face full of stick as we pushed our way out and ducked around the side of the building. Tommy took off down the alley and I tried to keep up. He crossed a street, then another ally. I was winded by the time I caught up with him. It might have helped that he was standing around, waiting for me, nervously ready to take off at any moment.

"Listen" I choked out. "Don't want to run from the scene. Police. Just watch out for wolves." He nodded and motioned me further back down the alley so I could try to put my pulsing head back together. When I got my breath back, I told him. "I don't know where we are and I left my car by the park. If you'll show me the way, we can go carefully and without running." He just grunted, sniffed the air and headed for another street. We walked in silence and by the time we got to the car, I could hear fire truck sirens in the distance. What can I say? I don't _always_ knock down buildings, but when I do they also catch fire.

"Want a ride?"

Tommy had turned back into a human by now and he smiled. "Sure, why not? You're only an adult stranger I just met."

I grinned. "I think I owe you one for waiting up for me, plus after that beating you'd probably better see a doctor."

He shook his head "I've got something better than a doctor. Have you ever heard of the Hungry Bucket?"

_"Come on down to the Hungry Buck-buck-bucket! Come on down to the Hungry Buck-buck-bucket!"_ The speakers outside the restaurant played on infinite repeat. It was only a few minutes until opening time, so Tommy and I sat quietly outside. I closed my eyes and tried to soothe my throbbing head.

We put in our order. I slowly ate my mashed potatoes, trying to soothe my stomach into submission, while Tommy...well, let's say that I added a new bit of werewolf lore to my collection: wolf men really, really love fried chicken. If I'd reached for a piece he probably would have had my hand off.

* * *

It was early that Saturday morning when Tommy and I arrived at Merton's house. It was built into a hillside, so there was a door directly into his room. Tommy had asked me to drop him off there and said Merton could fill me in on the "Evil Werewolf Syndicate." Hopefully Merton could also lend me an aspirin or two. I looked like I'd just lost a fight with a rake, but despite his beating earlier, Tommy bounded up the path to Merton's door as if he'd just woken up from a refreshing sleep.

"Ghhhh, what is it?" Merton's sleepy voice called out. "Oh, it's you Tommy" he peeked through the door. "And the head-choppy wizard guy."

"Can we come in, Merton?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know..." Merton side-eyed me. "_Can_ you? I'd hate to be careless and invite someone in who was, I don't know, a wizard intent on killing me." Somehow I got the idea Merton wasn't too happy about our little conversation earlier.

"Look, you could both be in serious trouble." I said.

"Yeah," Tommy continued "we got kidnapped by the Evil Werewolf Syndicate last night!"

"This is where I keep the holy water." Merton had a black cabinet hung with cords of garlic. Of course. There were crucifixes. Of course. And silver candlesticks. And-

"The Super-Soaker 2000." Merton hauled out a garish giant water rifle. "We can fill it with silver nitrate water." I felt a childish little twinge of disappointment that although I'd come up with the holy water pistols, I'd never thought of that. Merton pulled out a bottle "And this probably isn't really wolfsbane, but it seems to work and it hasn't killed anyone yet, so we're using it."

"Hold on," I said. "It's good you're taking precautions, but you're not going after anyone, right?"

"Not going after who?" A girl's voice. She'd come in the front door unnoticed. I lowered my staff cautiously. "Lori?" "Where were you, Tommy? I thought we were going running this morning? And who's this guy?" Lori was short, with brassy golden hair and a curvy athletic build.

"Me and him got kidnapped by the Syndicate last night." Tommy nodded towards me. "This is Harry, he's a good wizard."

Lori examined me with a raised eyebrow. "Hm."

"Well, I try." I held out my hand and she shook it after a moment. It was warm from running, but without the slightest tingle of magic, even the almost imperceptible one I'd felt from Merton's hand. "And I really don't think you need to get involved in this."

"Why? I've been kidnapped by them before." Lori sounded exasperated. "It was scary but they're not the brightest guys ever. Tommy's more than a match for them and I'm not helpless either."

"Yeah." Tommy put his arm across her shoulders. "We do this kind of thing a lot. We stop bad guys and help people. We've fought monsters-"

"Ghosts" Merton added "evil witches, librarians, vampires, demons...and we survived them all."

"That's impressive. But it doesn't mean you'll continue to survive." I looked at Tommy. "What happens when people go after your friends again? Can you live with that?"

I had to respect Tommy for following the Tao of Spiderman. It was something I would have done myself. But even the Alphas back in Chicago found themselves in trouble frequently and all of them had superpowers, so to speak. What's more they had allies. I've taken on things far, far, bigger than me but I've had powerful friends to help me out. There were no wardens posted within easy driving distance of Pleasantville. There weren't even any noted adult practitioners. None of them had lasted very long and, now that I thought about it, that seemed sort of suspicious. But I had other concerns right now.

"I..." Tommy said.

"Bite me, Tommy!" Lori snapped.

Tommy pushed back "Hey, calm down!"

Lori rolled her eyes. "No, I mean it. This guy-" she pointed to me "he's right. You keep running into trouble and I keep trying to help. We'd have a much better chance if I was a werewolf too."

"Hold up, hold on, hold on a moment." Merton held up a hand. "Tommy can't just bite you, it has to be during a certain phase of the moon. And it certainly helps if there are the right planetary alignments."

"Yeah, I'm not going to bite you" Tommy said.

"Besides, being a werewolf can bring out people's evil sides. It did for me." Merton added.

Lori just shook her head and sighed. "We have to do something."

"Relax" Tommy said. "Lori, you got kidnapped a few months ago. We haven't heard from the Syndicate since then. With the fire and everything there's a chance they'll wait a while longer to come after us again."

That would be nice if it was true. Escape had been pretty easy, but that didn't mean all members of the club were as incompetent as our jailor last night. I tried to come up with a plan. The police wouldn't much of an option. Try telling the cops you're being pursued by werewolves. (Trust me, I've tried it: not fun.) It wasn't much better to claim that you were being stalked by a mysterious club. I'd have to go digging through my own networks or maybe even ask the White Council.

In the end, I left them with instructions to call the police in case anyone actually showed up, a short how-to on warding and my phone number. It wasn't what I wanted, but I was almost dead on my feet and I needed sleep and recover from my head injury more than anything else. As a wizard I'd eventually heal, but that might be years down the road. In the meantime it would suck to be mentally impaired.

I intended to put a call through to the Paranet and the White Council (not that the Council would actually care about non-magicians, but it was worth an effort. However, once I made it back to my hotel room and used a short healing spell I fell into such a sound sleep I almost missed the ringing phone.

_Notes: Ugh, this chapter may be in for a rewrite later.  
_


End file.
